Verbal & Emotional Abuse: Victory Over Verbal and Emotional Abuse

 

In June Hunt’s new booklet, Verbal & Emotional Abuse: Victory Over Verbal and Emotional Abuse, she says: “No one escapes the pain of a broken heart. In the Hebrew language, the meaning of the word translated brokenhearted is literally shattered.”

The award-winning author & speaker packs this mini-book full of biblical-based truths and practical advice on how to stop the pain of abuse and restore peace to your mind, body, emotions, and relationships. You will learn about emotional and verbal abuse, brainwashing and manipulation, the effects of negative words and behavior including the characteristics of passive-aggressive behavior, the familiar faces of abuse, and their root causes.

Then you will get to the good part, the hope part! You will learn how to cope with and confront abusive people, alter the course of an abusive relationship, establish personal boundaries, and gratefully, how to heal a “shattered” heart.

“Words possess immense power. Words can be life-giving as well as life-threatening; life-giving by inspiring us to be all that we were meant to be, and life-threatening by destroying our hopes and dashing our dreams.” –June Hunt

In summation, the author poses the question: “When someone is being verbally or emotionally abusive to you is there anything you can do?” And then responds in conclusion with the affirming and hope-filled answer, Yes! “You do have choices. You can have boundaries. You can have healing.”

About the Author

Author June Hunt

June Hunt is a biblical counselor whose award-winning radio program “Hope for the Heart” is heard on nearly 900 radio outlets around the world. She is a sought-after public speaker on topics such as crisis counseling, child abuse, forgiveness and self-worth. She’s also developed a scripturally based counseling course covering topics including depression and anger, marriage, parenting, stress, suicide, and more. Her “Hope for the Heart” booklets have been translated into 27 languages.

Look for all 25 of the Hope For The Heart mini-books − These books are for men and women who are seeking restoration from circumstances like codependency, anger, conflict, verbal & emotional abuse, and depression.

Purchase the book: Verbal & Emotional Abuse: Victory Over Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Join me on Twitter @DestinysWomen

(c) By April McCallum, Destiny’s Women™ – “Championing the Life, Freedom & Destiny of Women”

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Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go

 

Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go is a power-packed little booklet by award-winning author and speaker June Hunt. It begins with a brief intro into the life of a woman who lost her father and sister at Ravensbruck, one of Hitler’s most notorious death camps. Their alleged offense? Protecting the lives of Jewish people who were being hunted down simply because they were Jews. Her name was Corrie Ten Boom. Her story–their story–is told in the movie, The Hiding Place.

In large part, Corrie Ten Boom’s story became so powerful because of her willingness to choose forgiveness. In so doing, she not only released her captors and the murderers of her family, but she released herself.

“When you refuse to forgive, your unforgiveness keeps you emotionally stuck to both the offense and the offender”

The author tackles misconceptions about forgiveness, barriers to forgiveness, root causes of unforgiveness, and the high cost of unforgiveness based around biblical truths. She answers several practical questions including, “How can I release the bitterness toward my offender, who is now dead?” She also articulates the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and responds to an argument so many of us can relate to: “I cannot forgive and forget. I keep thinking about being hurt,” along with other common concerns.

“Forgiveness is not explaining away the hurt. It is working through the hurt.”

She says, “Some people never say I forgive you, and they live in bitterness while others find the way to forgiveness and peace.” If you are struggling with issues of bitterness, injustice, or unforgiveness, this little booklet will tell you what the difference is and how you can find freedom.

When we hold tight to bitterness and unforgiveness thinking we are punishing our offenders, in reality, we are punishing ourselves and will remain locked in our own prisons until we find our way to forgiveness.

About the Author

Author June Hunt

June Hunt is a biblical counselor whose award-winning radio program “Hope for the Heart” is heard on nearly 900 radio outlets around the world. She is a sought-after public speaker on topics such as crisis counseling, child abuse, forgiveness and self-worth. She’s also developed a scripturally based counseling course covering topics including depression and anger, marriage, parenting, stress, suicide, and more. Her “Hope for the Heart” booklets have been translated into 27 languages.

 

Look for all 25 of the Hope For The Heart mini-books − These books are for men and women who are seeking restoration from circumstances like codependency, anger, conflict, verbal & emotional abuse, and depression.

Purchase the book: Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go

Join me on Twitter @DestinysWomen

(c) By April McCallum, Destiny’s Women™ – “Championing the Life, Freedom & Destiny of Women”

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Seeing is Believing: 10 Human Trafficking Films that will Open Your Eyes

 

Inaction is the greatest threat to bringing Human Trafficking to an end. 

TWENTY SEVEN MILLION

With over 27 million people held against their will and forced into modern-day slavery through debt bondage, forced labor or sexual exploitation, it’s easy for individual would-be advocates to become overwhelmed. It’s hard to think or know what direction to go with information that daunting.  We can become frozen and inactive. But seeing is believing.  If we are able to see it up close and personal (versus just hearing or reading about it) our reaction to that reality slaps us in the face. That dose of visual and emotional reality can help to shoehorn us out of our numbness to the issue–from inaction.  In other words, it may be a massive issue, but once we’ve seen with our own eyes, we can’t possibly do nothing!

WHO ARE THEY?

Who are the children snatched from the innocence of life as they once knew it? Who are the girls (and boys) sold by their own families to pay off debts? Who are the teenagers who fled from horrific home lives looking for something better only to walk into unimaginable and even deeper hearbreak and deceipt on the streets?  Who are the women who long for love, but find manipulation preying at the door of their hearts?  Women and girls who, like us, used to have dreams and hopes for a better tomorrow, but instead found themselves trapped and living (or dying) as modern-day slaves for the lust and greed of evil men.

SEEING IS BELIEVING

Twenty seven million is a big number–a huge number. But that number is made up of individuals–daughters (and sons), sisters and friends. If we can break through the barrier of the intimidating numbers and statistics and begin to see each statistic as a real person, we have a chance to succeed in bringing–no–demanding, justice.  Suddenly we’ve humanized the issue, the numbers. We can begin to help restore, redeem and reconcile one life, one family, one destiny at a time. But first, we have to see them

Here are 10 Human Trafficking Films that will Open your Eyes, and hope to change the lives of people held captive around the world (click on the titles for more information or to purchase):

  1. Nefarious: Merchant of Souls
  2. At the End of Slavery: The Battle for Justice in Our Time
  3. Sacrifice: The Story of Child Prostitutes from Burma
  4. Illicit: The Dark Trade
  5. Taken
  6. A Dance for Bethany
  7. Human Trafficking
  8. Not My Life
  9. Trade
  10. Bought & Sold: An Investigative Documentary on the International Trade of Women

An easy and powerful way to create awareness and become a part of the solution is to host a film showing or party. Gather a group of your favorite people (and it doesn’t have to be just women) and simply watch, listen, pray and discuss together. Reading statistics is one thing, but seeing will leave a much greater impression. Suddenly we see these women and children with names and faces. We hear their stories in their own voices and it somehow humanizes the issue. That’s what gives them hope–that finally, someone sees them! 

This is only a partial list of films on the issues surrounding human trafficking. It is meant to at least begin to unfold the reality of modern-day slavery and invite us to to take action.  Seeing is believing, and when we start to feel something about what we’ve seen, that is the first step toward getting involved and making a difference. 

(c) By April McCallum, Destiny’s Women™ – “Championing the Life, Freedom & Destiny of Women”

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Women: Sex, Drugs, Alcohol & Other Addictions

 

What is Addiction?

Addiction can be defined as the pursuit of reward and/or relief by use of drugs, alcohol and/or a combination of other behaviors (according to the American Society of Addiction Medicine). 

The term addiction is also sometimes applied to compulsions that are not substance-related, such as compulsive shopping, sex addiction, pornography, compulsive sex, overeating, problem gambling and computer addiction. In these kinds of common usages, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user himself to his individual health, mental state, or social life.

Catalysts for Addiction

Women are unique in that the catalysts for their addiction or substance abuse are often quite different from those of men. These may include:

  • Sexual victimization in childhood or adolescence
  • Domestic abuse from a partner or spouse
  • Anxiety disorders and depression
  • Low self-esteem

In some cases, the trauma of abuse and violence leads to substance abuse and other addictive behaviors, which can create phobic, depressive, and antisocial personality disorders that can affect the outcome of a woman’s recovery.  Women in America are far more likely to struggle with certain issues like anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Different histories and experiences inevitably spawn different psychologies, meaning women in search of better recovery often require approaches geared toward their emotional needs. 

Facts About Women & Drug Abuse

– 9 million women have used illegal drugs in the past year

– 3.7 million women have taken prescription drugs non-medically during the past year

– More than 28,000 (70%) of the AIDS cases among women are drug-related

– More than 4 million women of all ages, races and cultures living in the U.S. abuse drugs 

Most women drug abusers use more than one drug.  Women can also become addicted quickly to certain drugs, such as crack cocaine, therefore, by the time they seek help, their addiction may be difficult to treat. Women who use drugs often suffer from other serious health problems, sexually transmitted diseases, and mental health problems, such as depression.

Many women who use drugs have had troubled lives. Studies have found that at least 70 percent of women drug users have been sexually abused by the age of 16 and most of these women had at least one parent who abused alcohol or drugs.

Alcohol, Drugs, Sex & Death

Drugs can have an oppressive hold on women placing them in a bondage they never dreamed of before their addiction took hold. It can turn them into slaves of their preferred substance, to lifestyles they wouldn’t have initially chosen for themselves and to the people who enable their addiction for personal gain.

Women who use drugs risk becoming infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. The virus can be spread through needles used to inject drugs and through sexual contact. Women who have sex with men who inject drugs are at great risk. Today, almost 70 percent of AIDS cases in women are related to either injecting drugs or having sex with a man who injects drugs.

AIDS is now the fourth leading cause of death among women

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, “Chronic alcohol abuse exacts a greater physical toll on women than on men. Female alcoholics have death rates 50 to 100 percent higher than those of male alcoholics”. Also, women who drink while they are pregnant not only jeopardize their own health, but place their unborn babies at very high risk.

The Not-So-Pretty Side of Substance Abuse

You’ve heard the expression: “Girls just wanna have fun”. Unfortunately, the sleek, fun, fast-living portrayal of women enjoying life through hard partying and sexual freedom doesn’t match reality. What it doesn’t show is girls puking their guts out because once again, they drank or drugged way too much, compromised their ethics to satisfy their addiction, entertained a string of lovers who really didn’t love them, but used her body for their own pleasure or women selling their soul only to meet the devil on the other side, often leaving their children physically hungry and emotionally starved.

The morning after never looks quite as pretty as in the movies. Maybe you remember the lyrics from the Eagles song, Life in the Fast Lane:

“They knew all the right people, they took all the right pills They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills. There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face She pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race” 

Women who abuse drugs and alcohol often have low self-esteem, little self-confidence, and feel powerless. They often feel lonely and are isolated from support networks. They become separated from their true self and destiny.

Other Seductive & Powerful Addictions

There is another form of bondage women wrestle with categorized by some as “Soft Addictions”. Unlike drugs or alcohol (considered “hard addictions”) they captivate us, bring us pleasure and seem harmless. Soft addictions may be unhealthy habits, compulsive behaviors, chronic moods or negative thought patterns. Their essential defining quality is that they satisfy a surface want but disregard or block the deeper need. They bring a superficial high instead of true feelings of accomplishment.

Numerous addictions of this sort concern necessary activities such as eating, reading, and sleeping. They turn into addictions as soon as we overdo them and start using them for things other than their intended purpose. When we realize how much time, energy and emotion we dedicate to them, however, we can see how they will soon compromise the quality of our lives.

Why Not Get Help?

Unfortunately, there are many reasons why women do not seek help, but fear is a strong silencer.  In the case of substance abuse it might be the fear of authorities, the inability to provide childcare, loss of income from their job, that their children may be taken away or violence from their husbands, boyfriends, traffickers or pimps.

In the case of other compulsions and addictions that keep her bound, fear still rules. The fear of being “found out” or exposed, of losing the false control she thought she’d found through her soft addictions, and/or giving up the temporary pleasure high in exchange for a genuine cleansing and freedom she’s never experienced.  But, it is possible to break free!

Will the Real Me Please Stand Up

Sociologist Judith Grant conducted research at Ohio University where she observed that many women could not specify a turning point that prompted their recovery.  In most cases, the awareness of the need to overcome their substance abuse was a slow process. Their recovery success did not hinge on changing their identities from “addict” to “ex-addict,” rather, by unearthing their real selves. The women viewed using drugs and alcohol as an activity they were involved in, not an identity they had assumed.

“They bring back an old identity from before they got addicted, before the violence and drug abuse,” she said. “This is really me now,’ they say. ‘The blanket is gone.'”

Judith Wright, author of Soft Addictions: There Must Be More Than This, writes: “It’s not like it’s a quick fix. It’s not going to happen overnight. It’s really about learning to live the journey of life. It’s cumulative. You’re discovering who you really are.”

Breaking Free & Living Free

Family and friends play an important role in helping a woman get clean, sober and free. Addiction treatment programs plus family education, spiritual and practical counseling will help in her recovery, along with everyday help with things like childcare, employment and transportation.

Although community support and addiction treatment programs are key, it’s critical to cut out the root of the cause–not just treat the symptoms of substance abuse or addiction.

Once a woman understands the underlying issues of her perceived need and misplaced dependence on a substance or behavior to cope with everyday life, she can begin to face the hurts, failures, disappointments and pain of her past. Then, with the aid of a good counselor or professional support system, she can begin to honestly peel back the layers and regain confidence and the truth about herself and her future.

Life is for living—for living free.  Free from the voices, whether external or internal, that tell her lies about herself–her abilities, her status in life and about her future. She needs to understand that she matters and life doesn’t have to be this way. Her children also deserve a better life, free from the shackles of her addictions. Her choices will eventually set the course for their futures as well.      

Whatever keeps us in bondage, out of reach of our God-given destinies and opposes our freedom–enslaves us and keeps us from truly living. Wake up, breathe and help others to do the same.  Time is short.  Choose life!

© by April McCallum, Destiny’s Women

More Information:

National Institute on Drug Abuse

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

There Must Be More Than This: Finding More Life, Love and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addictions by Judith Wright

Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous

Sources: (NIH) National Institute on Drug Abuse, CHPA, CASA Columbia University, Ohio University, GMS Psycho-Social Medicine

(Photos by Gabriela Camerotti, Alexandre Normand, Andronicusmax, pretty saro)

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